IN THE PURSUIT OF SOLITUDE

by ene ijato - January 25, 2018

PERSONAL

Not always an easy pill to swallow for most, solitude allows us to evaluate the processes that have led us to this exact moment.

A couple weeks ago I was in my hometown, screaming happy New Year along with familial company, drinking palmwine and wallowing in ignorant bliss. I watched the sun rise and set, watched the beautiful silence nature provided us, watched myself absorb the infinite proximity of the skies and watched myself disconnect. I wish I could slip back into that experience this very moment.

Last year I made a lot of shitty decisions that I wouldn’t take back, but regret. Last year I lived in a bubble of self-assumed control, the kind that wraps itself around you like a warm blanket on a chilly night. It is however so unnerving as I experience everything unravelling before my eyes and the chill rushes in all at once sweeping me with a force I am still yet to recover from.

It is necessary to know your limits, it is necessary to not stretch yourself too thin in the pursuit of dreams and expectations, everyone has a breaking point even if sometimes we do not notice when we have snapped.

I like to believe that the beauty of existence is in the harsh lessons it teaches us, the lessons that mark us for life. In this general struggle most of us go through to become who we want to be or who we think we ought to be, we often times shed blood, sweat and tears. We break ourselves and build ourselves back up. We take risks and write our stories in footprints scattered about in chaotic ways.

I wish I knew the answers to all the questions I seek; I wish I knew if I’d ever know. But as I search and as I make mistakes, pardon me more times than I can count for my pursuit of solitude, there’s only so much a person can take all at once and still manage to stay afloat.

Btw, bringing back my childhood oversized dress-shirt phase (watch my Instagram space for evidence). I’ve missed this space far more than I care to acknowledge during this spontaneous overdue absence, hopefully I’m no too busy cramming theoretics on space physics to drop by here soonest.

Happy new year, hope you’re faring far better than this weirdo repeatedly striking C minor and expecting so much from the world.

A hi nya, with love, x E

Photography || Ene Ijato assisted by Titus Zhiri

Creative directing || Ene Ijato

Styling || Ene Ijato