THE GREENEST MOMENTS

by ene ijato - March 26, 2017

Sometimes depression isn’t a continuous affair, sometimes it just touches you, holds you, and like a precarious lover leaves before morning, only sometimes.

So, I received a few emails this week from some lovely people asking me amongst other things (How old are you?) how it is that I juggle University, owning a blog, working freelance and also maintaining a consistent social media presence ergo having the time to snap “incredible flat-lays” (It’s an Instagram thing). Yes, I was very much flattered in case you were wondering.

The answer if it would be simple is commitment. Inasmuch as I’d want to hop on the career waggon and say that I started blogging to earn money easily in the long run, it isn’t the case with me. Because I honestly didn’t know one could earn money directly from blogging what I wanted to blog about (Because no, I never wanted to be another wannabe Linda Ikeji) when I decided to start a blog.

I started blogging for a number of reasons, one being that a few friends suggested it to me as a platform to share my personal style. But I would not become the blogger who blogged about “things to wear this summer.” or “the perfect skirt to flaunt your figure.” Because not only did I see those things as the least of my worries in life, I also knew that there were hundreds of blogs circled around this on the internet. Hence, I came up with Ejato’s canvas where I’d get to share not only my personal style occasionally, but my thoughts on social issues that affects each and every one of us. Where I’d get to advocate for the things I am passionate about and also very recently, tell stories.

I juggle blogging with my university education and my personal lifestyle because I am committed to all these things, not because it is easy. Because trust me every creative person here knows that sometimes no matter how hard you try to work if the inspiration isn’t there, there really is nothing you can do (For risk of creating crap) except eat through a container of eclairs (or what they pass as eclairs these days) and lie down staring at your ceiling or binge through Netflix/HBO series like you were on fire. All the while saying “This shit is fire mehn...” And forgetting the pile of textbooks and notes accruing for you to firewoman/fireman through before exams.

Have I ever felt overwhelmed? Yes. Have I ever wanted to retreat to my own cave of solitude and not communicate with the world around me? More times than I can count. Have I ever wanted to slam my fist against a wall or pull out my hair in frustration? Eyy, No. Like not ever. I mean call me what you will but I happen to like my body very much thank you (Ignore the number of times I’ve screamed ‘I’m just a sucker for pain’) T’was the Suicide Squad melodrama people.

Have I ever wanted to quit or take a long undecided break? Of course, I’m human. But every time It hits me, this need to give up I remember I decided to commit because it is what I want.

I have felt depression and sometimes depression isn’t a continuous affair, sometimes it just touches you, holds you, and like a precarious lover leaves before morning, only sometimes. These past few days I have felt the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and I am grateful for it all because you take the crooked with the straights and you watch Fences.

In the spirit of spring/the onset of raining season and everything green and full of life, I believe that moments like this in a symbolic way reminds us of the brightness of life and the need to live it to the fullest, to enjoy it while it lasts and take risks to make one’s self happy because just like spring, like the seasons, life is a cycle that comes and goes. And like nature, learn to make it colourful while it lasts.

I really shouldn’t be leaving Postscripts in Personal posts but err… I just wanted to let you guys know that for all the unanswered phone calls and texts and emails last week, I was in a creative cave. And I apologise, not because I am sorry for ‘caving it’ because I really cannot be sorry for a thing I cannot control, but because I left you without an explanation. Thank you for understanding.

Wham Bam! With love, EJ

Last Week.

Book // The god of small things by Arundhati Roy

Music // How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by Florence and the Machine

Movie // Fences by August Wilson

Photography // Echiebe

Studio // Studio91