HEY GIRLS, HEY BOYS
For
the boys and girls
It is the oddity of possessing
characteristics both physically and psyche related attached to the predominant
stereotype of being feminine and masculine that has edged me unto this topic. I
therefore believe that human beings are creatures born to be as they are. But
this free will has been tampered with by large account of various factors
influenced by culture, religion, familial ethos-of-conduct etcetera.
I recently cultivated the in-the-moment
habit of calling my readership and friends alike the autonomous term “Babes”. A
term a few males have questioned whether my motive was a direct exclusion of the
male population who indulged my content. Now this would lead me to question the
very premise where by using the term “Guys” I do not get asked this question.
But rather it is automatically assumed to include both genders. Same goes for
the term ‘Man’ in various less informal contexts or ‘Mankind’ or how in the
majority of literary culture when referring to an ambiguous character, male
pronouns are employed.
On a parallel note, I also realized that It
is highly normal to have adopted the girls dressing up in stereotypically
masculine apparels in most societies of the world but the very thought of men
wearing anything remotely associated with stereotypical femininity has extreme
negativity or the “Homosexual” label attached to it in most parts of the world
also.
Let us stop our egocentric analysis of the
world for a moment and analyse the world as a unit. Ancient Yucatan and
Egyptian men and women both wore earrings and other jewelleries. Scottish men
traditionally wear skirts (kilt). Western and European women and men both wear
trousers. African men and women tie wrappers. Jewish women and men both
traditionally covered their heads in the same manner; a shawl draped over it and
wore extremely similar robes. In close examination, we’ll realise there isn’t any
difference between the kaftan and trousers worn by both the men and women in
India. I could go on with a vast number of examples but I’m sure you get the
gist and If you desire more examples you can ask google. So, it is safe to say
that examining the world globally we fail to see the distinction of male and
female clothing.
I would like us to observe the gender
stereotypes that exist immensely in the world we live in. Where children of
both genders are raised differently. I remember growing up and having my mom
buy dolls for me and toy guns for my brothers. Now this is not to say this is
the kind of toys my mother wanted us to enjoy, but rather the kind of toys she
has been informed by society that we ought to enjoy according to our gender.
But of course, I found my doll an interesting thing. The ability to dress it,
make clothes for it, pretend it was an exotic friend etcetera. But I also
wanted to play with a toy gun, and form battle strategies with green miniature
soldiers and race cars. Luckily for me I grew up amongst brothers who had no
qualms in allowing me play with their toys, not every girl does. Hence, I
inherently had choice. Even in clothing I had choice, I had parents who bought
me clothes that cut across both gender stereotypes due to my inherent need to climb
trees and the mandates of Sunday school, rather than forcing me to be a kind of
child I was not.
Perhaps it is why I am to some extent
openminded, because I am both “girly” and “boyish”. I wear frilly dresses and
tulle skirts and also baggy trouser and dress shirts. So, it has for me always been
more on the subject of what I felt like wearing rather than what I was supposed
to wear. I love “boyish” clothing because it is awfully comfortable for all
activities and I love “girly” clothing because I find it to be more
accessorized and varied.
To this day when I carefreely quip into a
conversation my knowledge of Nintendo, Family-Con, Sega, PlayStation, when I
remotely analyse FIFA against PES I’m treated with attention because well I’m a
girl and “girls aren’t supposed to be interested in these kinds of things.” And
perhaps If I hadn’t had brothers who allowed me to explore things I was
supposedly restricted from, I wouldn’t have known I’d be interested in these
kinds of things, and this is what gender stereotypes do to us. From the choice
of colour, hobbies, movie and music genre, clothing etcetera my femaleness is
judged. It doesn’t matter what my preferences are society expects I be “feminine”
and he be “masculine” based on its definition of these words.
But I am who I am, and I make choices based
on what I like not what I’m told I am supposed to and it is time people start
ignoring gender stereotypes. There are no such things as female jobs, male jobs
or at least there shouldn’t be such a thing. Women have been operating heavy
machinery in factories for decades so toughness is a personal thing and based
on how one was raised. And who says men aren’t good at reception? I’m
technically a woman and statistically we populate the earth more than men at
the moment so ask me who I’d like welcoming me into an establishment. This insidious
conditioning starts right from when a child is born and as potential grown-ups
who will raise children, we need to fix it.
Both boys and girls everyday are victims of
gender stereotypes. It not only stifles their abilities and freedom to be and
express themselves, give rise to depression, self-doubt and psychological
trauma, it potentially reduces the productivity of the world.
Of course, with every great change there’s
always a long pause of realization and the sluggish attempt to implement it.
But the realization is extremely important and I hope you find it.
I shall now
herald the newest category of this blog; TELLING STORIES. Its first post shall
be coming up on Wednesday and will be continuously so subsequently. It’s a
compilation of various works of non-fiction; true life events told yours truly.
So, yea whatever… I’ll be here trying to cultivate my people skills, finally
realizing why writers retreat into a den and avoid contact with the normal
world so they don’t continually forget food on the stove, and wondering if by
far Logan has just become my favourite Marvel film?
Thanks for recommending this blog to your friends and do leave me a comment on whatever you think down below in the comment box
Thanks for recommending this blog to your friends and do leave me a comment on whatever you think down below in the comment box
Wham
Bam! Babes, x EJ
Photography // Echiebe
Studio // Studio91
Weird editing art // Ene Ijato
Styling // Ene Ijato
6 comments
Hi. Would just like to say the subject of gender and gender equality is very broad and complicated as current it has been identified that there are 63 genders.
ReplyDeleteAlso would like to know are you for feminism or gender equality
P.S. Just got introduced on Sunday, and I must say I love all your stories expecially Fresh pair of eyes.
Hi Josh, so from my POV I'd very much like to point out that I see gender as a science student. A biological classification of our specie. But I will however not judge anyone based on their personal interpretation of what it means to identify as whatever gender they choose to identify as, I believe this is a personal choice. Gender equality isn't necessarily broad in my opinion. It is just a state of not using a person's gender to discriminate against them for whatever reason and I don't think there's anything broad or complicated about that.
DeleteFeminism and gender equality both mean the same thing to me. Both believe in the social political and economic equality of the sexes I.e no gender should be discriminated against. No one denied opportunities because of gender. I understand the controversy surrounding feminism but I hope we all realise that Every movement is subject to personal interpretation whether right or wrong. Same as religion has extremists and misinformed so-calleds so does feminism. It should not be judged by the practice of people who claim to be it but by its definition.
It'll be a cold day in hell, before I wear a skirt...gender stereotypes or not. In my opinion the world is broken, and I think it likes it that way.
ReplyDeleteLol, the significant thing here is that its your choice. And never say never, the winds of fashion blow to the unexpected more often than not and if history serves, crowd indulgence pacifies a lot. Plus you realise you're a part of the world. X ❤ E
DeleteThis is quite a bone chilling realization, gender stereotypes and all, how can we manage the mind of a child to make decisions for themselves, while it contradicts the whole idea of raising a child, children are naturally open to suggestive whims and so what ever you choose to expose them too or deprive or let them choose, their decision will still be influenced by some external force let's say, and that would be irresponsible on the parents or guardians part. Because kids grow and reach a point where you have to rethink and wonder if the decisions taken or not taken was worth it. Yours truly T. Ice
ReplyDeleteI continue to struggle with the idea of perfect parenting. Try as we may, children are different individually and there isn't a pattern that satisfies all. But in the aspect of influence from external forces, I believe in giving your children choice. Expose them to variables and let them decide their preferences. This helps parents discover more about their children and develops a more interactive relationship between the two. In the case of the negatives I'd much rather believe its better for children to learn about them from their parents because no matter how you try to protect a child, in this century where information has been democratized and basks in easy accessibility they'll learn about it anyhow and might handle it awfully wrong.
DeleteEager to hear your thoughts!